Friday, July 22, 2016

The Transporter (2002)

A professional getaway driver searches for a shipping container of smuggled slaves.

The perfect brainless action picture, done up to a fault. This is the first one in the Jason Statham franchise, who is the undisputed King Kraft Velveeta of the silver screen. Smooth and cheesy, he plays Frank, ex-military of course, which by rote gives him mad fighting and coping skillz.

The sheer stupidness of the action is off the charts. Deflecting a missile with a tea tray, finding a parachute in a cropdusting plane and landing on a truck, etc. And we love it, and we will take it, in order to watch the amazing Statham, whose awesomeness lies in the fact that he can deliver this to us with a straight face.

I've heard that originally Frank was supposed to be gay, which was suppressed by the producers to appease action fans, by introducing Qi Shu as his doting girlfriend. Despite this, there are a few treasures in there to keep the myth alive, such as Frank's punctilious air, his home, rolling around in grease with a bunch of guys, an underwater air-kiss, odd open-legged crotch fighting oddities etc. I'm all for it, and If you watch the film with this premise in mind, it makes it way more interesting.

I have shamefully not seen any of the other films in this franchise, but I plan to get a bucket of chicken wings, a few Shock Tops and go to town.

Quickie Review